Juliette Sebock
Standardised Testing
Did he hit you?
How the hell else will they explain it
when you’re in a hospital bed
and they ask what happened and you say
My boyfriend--
[but he’s not my boyfriend and he
made that clear but now I’m here
and it’s his fault]?
It’s easier to say yes
but you can’t with your tongue
between your teeth
[better than against his]
and your mouth hungover from him
sucking out bits of you and
replacing them with pieces of his.
No.
Because somewhere you somehow
still feel like you owe him--
a defense, silver lining, or a fine line at the edge of normality.
Honesty, but tinged with lies and
everything you still try to hide
for your own protection or his or--
[I could show you the scars if I weren’t so ashamed.
No.
His fingers gripped too tight but
He didn’t mean it.
No one can act that well.
No.
His hands didn’t leave marks
but his mouth--
No.]
How the hell else will they explain it
when you’re in a hospital bed
and they ask what happened and you say
My boyfriend--
[but he’s not my boyfriend and he
made that clear but now I’m here
and it’s his fault]?
It’s easier to say yes
but you can’t with your tongue
between your teeth
[better than against his]
and your mouth hungover from him
sucking out bits of you and
replacing them with pieces of his.
No.
Because somewhere you somehow
still feel like you owe him--
a defense, silver lining, or a fine line at the edge of normality.
Honesty, but tinged with lies and
everything you still try to hide
for your own protection or his or--
[I could show you the scars if I weren’t so ashamed.
No.
His fingers gripped too tight but
He didn’t mean it.
No one can act that well.
No.
His hands didn’t leave marks
but his mouth--
No.]
Biography
Juliette Sebock is the author of Mistakes Were Made and has work forthcoming or appearing in a wide variety of publications. She is the founding editor of Nightingale & Sparrow, runs a lifestyle blog, “For the Sake of Good Taste,” and is a regular contributor with Marías at Sampaguitas. Currently, she is curating the Screaming from the Silence anthology series and working on a variety of personal and freelance projects. When she isn't writing (and sometimes when she is), she can be found with a cup of coffee and her cat, Fitz. Juliette can be reached on her website or across social media.
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