Ambika Gupta
body when horizontal
(cw: misogyny)
lately, i am understanding how the blooms are
never symmetrical, the filament above my head
is only a phallus i have been asked to pray
to. the water in the bathroom is lush with
presence, my feet sink into the floor.
mercury everywhere is just mercury
in my mouth, soaking my dreams dry.
the last time i met a man, he asked me to lie
on my back, i was only a crier then.
he joked, a lonely joke, a popular joke —
you do know/ that the spine is only a vegetable/
god cold-pressed/ for too long/ and stuck up
your back/ to do away/ with all that space you were taking.
bouts of incessant laughing, eyes rolled back,
the horizontal body is most vulnerable.
i do not look up at the fire signs, at the
traffic signs, at the signs telling me to stop.
at night, i stretch into the springs of sleep,
why is my body refused space that does not
spell danger?
lately, i am understanding how the blooms are
never symmetrical, the filament above my head
is only a phallus i have been asked to pray
to. the water in the bathroom is lush with
presence, my feet sink into the floor.
mercury everywhere is just mercury
in my mouth, soaking my dreams dry.
the last time i met a man, he asked me to lie
on my back, i was only a crier then.
he joked, a lonely joke, a popular joke —
you do know/ that the spine is only a vegetable/
god cold-pressed/ for too long/ and stuck up
your back/ to do away/ with all that space you were taking.
bouts of incessant laughing, eyes rolled back,
the horizontal body is most vulnerable.
i do not look up at the fire signs, at the
traffic signs, at the signs telling me to stop.
at night, i stretch into the springs of sleep,
why is my body refused space that does not
spell danger?
Biography
Ambika Gupta (she/her) is a twenty year-old Indian poet currently pursuing her undergraduate study in Bengaluru, India. When she’s not busy having existential crises, she makes a lot of pasta and reads feminist and queer literature. She has previously been published in LAMAI, the annual literary magazine by Ukiyo Bookstore, Manipur, India. Find her on Instagram: @silversawdust
