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caliche fields
<<en que busque una respuesta entre les antigües y les contemporánees>>
after Ariana Brown
how does it feel to know where you come from?
my parents, my grandma, my grandpa, mi abuela, mi tía chele, les adoro. but my biological mother gifted me three things: a tribe, a confusion, and three spotted wolves. my grandfather was an orphan, adopted by a family and taken in with all the love of the world in spite of what my father says. but, how does it feel to know whom you come from? because with him i felt that. he and my father told me education: learn about where you come from, read all the knowledge, access all the info and i heard that. mais, quand j’étudiais le français, un françois m’a dit «les indiennes n’existent…» and i couldn’t draw up the strength to tell him that i may be legendary but i am not a myth. i was courageless and naive to remind him that the only word i have for myself is a misinterpretation, a misendeavor of frenchmen playing adán naming all they see. so i ask you again, how does it feel to know where you come from? |
we took a deep dive into el castellano donde sí existen les poblaciones indígenas pero these were not names for myself but una aproximación de una lengua indígena, “le barbarie elegante”. how does it feel to know oneself when only the victorious colonizers describe? ¡ROAD-TRIP! let’s go to a museum. there’s documentation of things long past, named before the time of christ. hopeful i went to my section identified by blood quantum. and do you know what i found? the most beautiful bead work, animal skin dresses, and the crafts of hunting - spoiled with war… and, beneath everything they printed: «artist unknown». splendid specimen. even le bonne sauvage was left renamed, unnamed. in tears, i walked, wandered galleries, and so let me ask you again, how does it feel to know where you come from? |
Commentary
caliche on «en que busque una respuesta entre les antigües y les contemporánees»:
i started writing this piece while wandering the galleries of the joslyn art museum in omaha, nebraska. not meaning to drop any eaves, i overheard a fellow museum goer call a pair of moccasins “cute.” they mentioned how they had to have some. i immediately choked up and bee-lined behind a statue for a quick cry. there i came up with the question, «how does it feel to know where you came from?»
however, my question isn’t really directed towards the culture. i could care less about people’s 'percentages' because the government has been patiently waiting for first nation and indigenous peoples to reach less than an octoroon status. our treaties, already disrespected, are legally bound to this blood quantum.
i am more invested in knowing how it feels to be unashamedly indigenous – yes, i possess tribal enrollment, but displacement is a complex experience. the only word i have for myself is sioux. and thus i reclaim the serpent of eve, the serpent conquered by apollo, and quetzacoatl. i reject the fetishization of savage beauty.
i started writing this piece while wandering the galleries of the joslyn art museum in omaha, nebraska. not meaning to drop any eaves, i overheard a fellow museum goer call a pair of moccasins “cute.” they mentioned how they had to have some. i immediately choked up and bee-lined behind a statue for a quick cry. there i came up with the question, «how does it feel to know where you came from?»
however, my question isn’t really directed towards the culture. i could care less about people’s 'percentages' because the government has been patiently waiting for first nation and indigenous peoples to reach less than an octoroon status. our treaties, already disrespected, are legally bound to this blood quantum.
i am more invested in knowing how it feels to be unashamedly indigenous – yes, i possess tribal enrollment, but displacement is a complex experience. the only word i have for myself is sioux. and thus i reclaim the serpent of eve, the serpent conquered by apollo, and quetzacoatl. i reject the fetishization of savage beauty.
Biography
@calichefields [they/elle/iel] is a queer sioux tejanx; lives upon the prehistoric ruins of the permian basin; an ma candidate specializing in the poetry of sor juana inés de la cruz. they're rooted in interdisciplinary natures and their work dwells within the kitchen, its sciences and philosophies.
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