Jordan Hamel
Anxiety & Co.
Is today the rain that drowns your field?
Morning coffee, double shot,
pick a mug with a playful slogan
‘Coffee because it's too early for wine’
arrange you portions of sugar
portion your empathy
allocate accordingly
taking into account
Susan from HR’s birthday
Everyone is supposed to be here except you
Unsettle a team meeting with silence
pour indifference into your colleagues’ cereal
hide from their over caffeinated gaze
sign Susan’s birthday card
‘Better over the hill than under it!’
Everyone is succeeding in their endeavours except you
Rome wasn't built in a day
but you aren't Rome
today you are Timaru at best
with expired resource consents
and an impatient local body
Everyone is having sex and meaningful relationships except you
Their touch haunts every newsfeed
passing glances in digital corridors
trace their longitudinal scratch marks
arrange the skin remnants
into a story too good for your own pen
Everyone is losing weight and gaining knowledge except you
Check your to do list:
Everyone is more at ease and socially cohesive than you
Talk to your colleagues about their weekend plans
‘The thing about getting to the market early is
the avocados aren't bruised from a hard days work
you can't trust a two pm tomato’
nod submissively
let your eyes be seduced by the bottle of bleach
ogling you from under the breakroom sink
Lana Del Ray lyrics where
the poison hotline number should be
‘I got that summertime
summertime
Seasonal Affective Disorder’
Everyone is meeting expectations except you
Everyone has expectations
Write a list of people you saw today who are better looking than you
Run out of paper. Give up.
Smear yourself in Susan’s birthday cake
offer your body to the pigeons, still unemployed
resting lazily in the park
to pull cherry-chocolate sinew pore from pore
an inside-out piñata, with white privilege.
Everyone will be remembered except you
Try to get sparser
sparser
the perfect poem is just blank space
the perfect office is just blank space
the perfect you is just
Is this the tree that holds your rope?
Morning coffee, double shot,
pick a mug with a playful slogan
‘Coffee because it's too early for wine’
arrange you portions of sugar
portion your empathy
allocate accordingly
taking into account
Susan from HR’s birthday
Everyone is supposed to be here except you
Unsettle a team meeting with silence
pour indifference into your colleagues’ cereal
hide from their over caffeinated gaze
sign Susan’s birthday card
‘Better over the hill than under it!’
Everyone is succeeding in their endeavours except you
Rome wasn't built in a day
but you aren't Rome
today you are Timaru at best
with expired resource consents
and an impatient local body
Everyone is having sex and meaningful relationships except you
Their touch haunts every newsfeed
passing glances in digital corridors
trace their longitudinal scratch marks
arrange the skin remnants
into a story too good for your own pen
Everyone is losing weight and gaining knowledge except you
Check your to do list:
- Respond to Ben from accounts
- February’s Invoices
- Think outside the box
- Practice resilience
- Consider a standing desk
- If I screamed continuously right now how long before someone stops me?
- Prepare for the diversity workshop
Everyone is more at ease and socially cohesive than you
Talk to your colleagues about their weekend plans
‘The thing about getting to the market early is
the avocados aren't bruised from a hard days work
you can't trust a two pm tomato’
nod submissively
let your eyes be seduced by the bottle of bleach
ogling you from under the breakroom sink
Lana Del Ray lyrics where
the poison hotline number should be
‘I got that summertime
summertime
Seasonal Affective Disorder’
Everyone is meeting expectations except you
Everyone has expectations
Write a list of people you saw today who are better looking than you
Run out of paper. Give up.
Smear yourself in Susan’s birthday cake
offer your body to the pigeons, still unemployed
resting lazily in the park
to pull cherry-chocolate sinew pore from pore
an inside-out piñata, with white privilege.
Everyone will be remembered except you
Try to get sparser
sparser
the perfect poem is just blank space
the perfect office is just blank space
the perfect you is just
Is this the tree that holds your rope?
Biography
Jordan Hamel (he/him/his) is a New Zealand-based poet and performer. He grew up in the South on a diet of Catholicism and masculine emotional repression. He is the current New Zealand Poetry Slam Champion and has performed at festivals across Aotearoa. He is a poetry editor for Barren Magazine and has work published in Ghost City Press, Mojave Heart Review, Glass Poetry, Queen Mob's Teahouse and elsewhere.
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JordanHamel_ Website: http://www.jordanhamel.co.nz/ |