Judith Kingston
Object Permanence
In which I learn to lie to myself from a Grand Master
When my mother transferred her allegiance
to the other butcher, she changed her route
or ducked below the window sill avoiding
the friendly eyes of the previous favourite
whom she had betrayed and deserted for
another with a wider choice of game.
You can solve any awkward situation like
this, I learned, just make sure you are out
of line of sight because when the people
you have hurt can't see you then the hurt
disappears as well. People cannot feel
when they cannot see, I learned.
People cannot talk when you are invisible
either, so we hid behind pillars on platform 5,
not to share a carriage or a conversation
with friends travelling to the same event,
and I found that awkward questions slowly
starve and wither if you ignore the email
that posed them – maintain radio silence
until the bracing westerly wind has erased
all inconvenient thoughts and you can start
again with: how are you? It's been a while.
I learned that you can keep a wash of brittle
sunlight on the day by denying the existence
of the rain and that you have no reflection
in the mirror if you simply look away.
to the other butcher, she changed her route
or ducked below the window sill avoiding
the friendly eyes of the previous favourite
whom she had betrayed and deserted for
another with a wider choice of game.
You can solve any awkward situation like
this, I learned, just make sure you are out
of line of sight because when the people
you have hurt can't see you then the hurt
disappears as well. People cannot feel
when they cannot see, I learned.
People cannot talk when you are invisible
either, so we hid behind pillars on platform 5,
not to share a carriage or a conversation
with friends travelling to the same event,
and I found that awkward questions slowly
starve and wither if you ignore the email
that posed them – maintain radio silence
until the bracing westerly wind has erased
all inconvenient thoughts and you can start
again with: how are you? It's been a while.
I learned that you can keep a wash of brittle
sunlight on the day by denying the existence
of the rain and that you have no reflection
in the mirror if you simply look away.
Biography
Judith Kingston is a Dutch writer living in the UK. Her poems have been published in various online magazines such as Barren Magazine, VampCat Magazine, Anti-Heroin Chic and Salt Water Soul, as well as the Fly on the Wall Press print anthology Persona Non Grata. Besides writing, she translates, teaches and occasionally narrates audiobooks.
Social media links: Twitter: @judithkingston Instagram: @judith_kingston |