Mandira Pattnaik
fire in the rearview mirror
forgive me. i never saw you heaving. coming.
always lived in a saucer brimming. gulped
stale grey soup, drenched in torrents. i hurried,
scurried. knocked for work. washed cars.
never paid enough. you waited. skirt afloat.
waved from your backyard. among flushed peonies.
i struggled to etch a life. was carried, a feather,
by winds that didn’t abate. sometimes a dust
storm. sometimes blind rage. i thought you’d remain
closer than your scarf in my hands. you didn’t.
away, i sculpted verses on rocks, on parched earth,
and on brooks, our story, calligraphy on sand.
you wafted away like mirage. now, it’s twenty
years of a dome gloating over its fiery wings. on my
hapless skies. like falling debris, my pounding
heart hurtles to a stop. coarse yellowing
photographs, my fingers skim your dried,
parted lips. feel warmth. sizzling, searing heat.
a billowing forest fire. now, you’re only the city
that blushes at my great presence. watches stunned.
***
always lived in a saucer brimming. gulped
stale grey soup, drenched in torrents. i hurried,
scurried. knocked for work. washed cars.
never paid enough. you waited. skirt afloat.
waved from your backyard. among flushed peonies.
i struggled to etch a life. was carried, a feather,
by winds that didn’t abate. sometimes a dust
storm. sometimes blind rage. i thought you’d remain
closer than your scarf in my hands. you didn’t.
away, i sculpted verses on rocks, on parched earth,
and on brooks, our story, calligraphy on sand.
you wafted away like mirage. now, it’s twenty
years of a dome gloating over its fiery wings. on my
hapless skies. like falling debris, my pounding
heart hurtles to a stop. coarse yellowing
photographs, my fingers skim your dried,
parted lips. feel warmth. sizzling, searing heat.
a billowing forest fire. now, you’re only the city
that blushes at my great presence. watches stunned.
***
Biography
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Mandira Pattnaik's first poem appeared in the national daily The Times of India. Her work, poetry and fiction, has since appeared in Eclectica Magazine, Citron Review, Watershed Review, Bombay Lit Magazine, Splonk, New World Writing, Amsterdam Quarterly, Not Very Quiet and Passages North, among other places. Her writing has been translated and included in anthologies. Forthcoming are pieces in Prime Number Magazine, Feral Poetry and Reflex Press. She is BotN and Best Microfiction nominee this year. Lives in India, loves to embroider. Tweets @MandiraPattnaik
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