Nicole Callräm
how to pray
“I touch leaves, I close my eyes and think of water”
—James Wright*
your departure left an abandoned church, a deep well I
chant into— forty moonless nights fast from feast, from touch
your absence is concentric, a quaking heartbeat— leaves
cool as earth, still like bark, fingertips tentative— now I
no longer remember how to stop breathing air/you in, close
these lips against invading memories, close this door to my
thorned heart, o, eternity’s curtain— o, downcast eyes
I know there is some goodness here for me, sliced pears and
deep sleep promised me that. & I fall I fall to my knees, think
of us, you, raw vulnerability of autumn’s last days, the folly of
a faithless one like me praying to find meaning in still water
*Golden Shovel based on James Wright’s “Trying to Pray”
—James Wright*
your departure left an abandoned church, a deep well I
chant into— forty moonless nights fast from feast, from touch
your absence is concentric, a quaking heartbeat— leaves
cool as earth, still like bark, fingertips tentative— now I
no longer remember how to stop breathing air/you in, close
these lips against invading memories, close this door to my
thorned heart, o, eternity’s curtain— o, downcast eyes
I know there is some goodness here for me, sliced pears and
deep sleep promised me that. & I fall I fall to my knees, think
of us, you, raw vulnerability of autumn’s last days, the folly of
a faithless one like me praying to find meaning in still water
*Golden Shovel based on James Wright’s “Trying to Pray”
Biography
Nicole Callräm (she/her/她) is a nomadic bureaucrat and disciple of existence in all her life-affirming and confusing manifestations. She adores rideshare bikes, red wine, and Osmanthus flowers (preferably a mix of the three...all at once). Nicole has been published in A Shanghai Poetry Zine, Nude Studio, Rat’s Ass Review, and Alluvium. She attends the Shanghai Inkwell Poetry Workshop, constantly learning how to be better and braver from these creative souls. You can find her on Twitter at @YiminNicole.
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