Sarah Lilius
Food Story
I will die with this struggle clutched
in my teeth like a carbohydrate.
A food story dangles, drips fatty
with images of myself skinny
cracking hard breadsticks
against my abdominal muscles.
Rogue girl with the stomach
blames it on child rearing, the stretch
and pull of life makes translucent
tracks across this middle place.
How can two small boys
harbor as fat cells for years after?
What kind of magic passes into my mouth?
Corn syrup moves slow into my organs.
Even if blood tests tell the doctors
I’m surviving without a thigh gap,
my flabby arms sprout wings
constructed of cake and bone.
I’ll fly away someday with my breadbasket,
Diet Pepsi, and pads of butter that I’ll lay
over my eyes when I’ve eaten myself
to near death, a place where this war no longer consumes me.
My food story in the making, I drop cupcakes
into the open grave, watch small animals
dive into the hole without helping
them back out.
in my teeth like a carbohydrate.
A food story dangles, drips fatty
with images of myself skinny
cracking hard breadsticks
against my abdominal muscles.
Rogue girl with the stomach
blames it on child rearing, the stretch
and pull of life makes translucent
tracks across this middle place.
How can two small boys
harbor as fat cells for years after?
What kind of magic passes into my mouth?
Corn syrup moves slow into my organs.
Even if blood tests tell the doctors
I’m surviving without a thigh gap,
my flabby arms sprout wings
constructed of cake and bone.
I’ll fly away someday with my breadbasket,
Diet Pepsi, and pads of butter that I’ll lay
over my eyes when I’ve eaten myself
to near death, a place where this war no longer consumes me.
My food story in the making, I drop cupcakes
into the open grave, watch small animals
dive into the hole without helping
them back out.
Biography
Sarah Lilius (she/her) is the author of the full-length poetry collection, Dirty Words (Indie Blu(e) Publishing 2021) and six chapbooks. Some of her publication credits include Fourteen Hills, Boulevard, Massachusetts Review and New South. She lives in Virginia with her husband and two sons. Her website is sarahlilius.com.
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